By Lacey Mills
Who Knew Reno County
Over the past year, I’ve spent a lot of time working with a leadership coach. One of our recent conversations that has stuck with me the most centers around a simple, but surprisingly difficult concept: placing the problem in front of us instead of attaching it to ourselves.
At first, I didn’t fully realize how much I was doing that.
As leaders, we are often asked to think creatively, cast vision, solve problems, and move ideas forward. Somewhere along the way, I had unknowingly started tying my identity to those ideas. If an idea succeeded, I felt validated. If it was challenged, questioned, or failed, it felt personal, like a reflection of my value or ability as a leader.
What I’ve realized is that this mindset can quietly limit growth.
When we become too attached to an idea, it becomes harder to examine it objectively. Feedback can feel threatening instead of helpful. Different perspectives can feel like opposition instead of contribution. Without even meaning to, we can shift from exploring what is best to defending what is ours.
The more I’ve reflected on this, the more I’ve recognized how important it is in community work.
At United Way, and really across every sector of our community, we spend a lot of time tackling complicated challenges. There are rarely simple answers. The best solutions usually come from collaboration, honest conversation, and the willingness to consider perspectives different from our own.
That becomes much harder when ideas become deeply tied to identity.
I’m learning that some of the healthiest conversations happen when no one person owns the answer. When we can place the challenge on the table between us, rather than carry it as part of ourselves, it creates space for curiosity, trust, and better decision-making.
That doesn’t mean we care less. If anything, it means we care enough to stay open.
I still believe passion and conviction matter deeply in leadership. But I’m discovering that leadership is not just about championing ideas; it’s also about being willing to examine them honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
And maybe that’s where real progress begins.
Not in having all the right answers, but in creating enough space to ask better questions together.
Lacey Mills is the executive director of United Way of Reno County and can be reached at lmills@uwrenocounty.org.