Charissa Graves
From the Graves
For the first time in my entire life, I won’t be spending Christmas with my immediate family.
It’s strange, and, despite all of the festive stories we’ve been writing recently, it doesn’t really feel like a holiday. This isn’t a unique experience; many people seem to go through a transition period in their young adult life when the “magic” fades and things never feel quite the same again.
As you get older, you start to see festivities for what they tend to be, which is usually a lot of work. In many cases, it’s worth it. It’s a wonderful gift to be able to take care of your loved ones, and that can take on a new kind of “magic.”
Growing up, Christmas Eve in particular was a really big deal. My aunt and uncle would host, and it would be quite the production. There’d be a lot of food, an absurd amount of nutcrackers, a Christmas tree in every room, and my cousin and I would spend all year creating some sort of production with any other family members we could get to go along with our schemes. We’d sing, wait to see which person would have to put on the Santa costume and then open whatever Christmas pajamas had been coordinated that year.
I remember it getting harder to celebrate after my grandma died, but we did our best. I was 13 then, and we kept going until my aunt, uncle, cousin and cousin-in-law moved when I was in college. In the last few years, Christmas has been a lot more low-key. My parents and I would spend the day at home, sometimes visiting family friends, because pastors and their families don’t usually have a lot of time to plan things during the holidays.
It’s no secret that I’ve felt kind of isolated since moving. I have wonderful family here, and I love the job and community that I’ve been fortunate enough to integrate into, but it’s different. This year, I won’t get to sing with my parents at my home church’s Christmas Eve service, or spend New Year’s Eve with my best friend and her family.
I did get to host my friend this week, which was really special, and it gave me an excuse to live like a tourist for a few days. I experienced new things and places that I’d never even heard of, and it was a great gift to experience them for the first time together.
It’s also not like I won’t be around family this year. In fact, I’m seeing more this year than I have in the past several Christmases. I live with my grandparents, in the same town as most of the family on my mom’s side, and most of the family that I grew up celebrating with now live in Branson, Mo. In a way, this may be the most familiar Christmas in a long time.
None of the changes that this year is bringing are bad, they’re just very different.
I will say, when my family was able to travel to visit family in the Midwest for Christmases while I was growing up, one of the main selling points (outside of seeing family, of course) was the chance of having a white Christmas, or at least actual winter weather. Now, California is cold and rainy while both here and Branson are experiencing sun and warmth. I may or may not be a little bitter about that specific detail.
Everything else, though, I’m choosing to look at as an opportunity. I’m grateful that I was able to see my parents last month, that I have friends who will travel halfway across the country to spend time with me, and that I still have extended family so accessible and ready to welcome me in.
Charissa Graves is a reporter for The Hutchinson Tribune. She can be reached at: charissa@hutchtribune.com.