By Jared Janzen
Local Yokel Reporter
Hutchinson, I have a confession to make.
It’s been years since I attended the Kansas State Fair. Actually, the more accurate term would be decades.
As far as I can figure, it’s probably been at least 25 years since I partook in the fair. We’re talking early elementary school age. I tried to fact check with my parents, and they thought they may have only ever taken me one time when I was little.
I really don’t have a good excuse for not going. I’ve lived within an hour of Hutchinson my entire life. It just wasn’t a tradition in my family growing up, and as I transitioned into an independent adult, I didn’t have the nostalgia to draw me back.
This next part is especially embarrassing to admit. It had almost become a point of pride in recent years just how long it had been since I went to the state fair. My friends would invite me to go with them, and it was too easy to use work or other commitments as an excuse.
It gets even worse, because I’ve been a traitor to my own state. Last year, I spent a day at the Nebraska State Fair, and in 2021, I went to the Oklahoma State Fair.
Appalling, I know. Please forgive me, Hutchinson.
Now that I’ve got all my embarrassing admissions out of the way, let’s focus on the positive. My redemption arc, if you will.
I DO plan to attend the fair this year, most likely on multiple days.
And it’s not just because I’m now working for a local media organization. Sure, part of my time at the fair will be spent reporting for the Tribune, but I’m also looking forward to spending off-duty time there, soaking in all the fun fair festivities that I’ve missed out on for the past 25 years.
There’s so much cool stuff to see and do (and eat) at the state fair. I’ve started thinking about some of the things I want to do next week, and here’s what I’ve got so far:
•Find a rubber duck. One way the fair is celebrating America’s 250th birthday this year is by hiding 250 rubber ducks across the fairgrounds for people to find and then rehide or keep. I’m a sucker for scavenger hunts, so hopefully I can spot a lucky ducky for myself.
•See the celebrity grape stomp. Out of the off-the-wall contests at the fair (corn husking, arm wrestling, Pronto Pup eating), I think the grape stomp catches my imagination the most. It’s slippery and slimy and sounds like it’ll be a good laugh.
•Eat something fried. I feel like this one is obligatory on any fair-goer’s to-do list. I’m not sure if it’ll be an Oreo, a Snickers, a Twinkie, or something else, but I need to see if they live up to the hype.
•Check out the butter sculpture. This is another fair tradition that I’ve heard people remark about over the years. I’m not sure if it’s frowned upon to bring your own biscuits to eat at the butter sculpture, but maybe I’ll find out. Also of note: this year the fair will also have a sand sculpture, so I’m curious to see that, too.
•Watch a Ron Diamond show. One of the few things I can remember about the Kansas State Fair from when I was a little kid was watching a hypnotist. Maybe it was Ron Diamond, maybe not. Either way, I figure I’d better catch one of his shows before he retires in a couple years.
What are you most looking forward to about this year’s state fair? Is there anything I should add to my list? If you see me wandering the midway next week, feel free to let me know.
Jared Janzen is a reporter for the Hutchinson Tribune. He may be reached at jared@hutchtribune.com.