By Jared Janzen
Local Yokel Reporter
I’ve officially been a Hutchinson resident for more than a month, and in that short time, I’ve had a number of thorny experiences.
Let me be clear: the people here are wonderful. Everyone I’ve met so far has been kind and welcoming.
The thorny welcome is solely to do with Hutchinson’s problem with sandburs. I’ve never lived in a place before where sandburs were so prevalent.
During one of my first weekends in Hutchinson, some of my friends came to visit from out of town for a round of disc golf at Orchard Park. We were only on the second hole before one of my friends was howling in pain. He set his disc golf backpack in a patch of stickers and then unknowingly slung it over his shoulders.
It only got worse from there.
Soon, all of us were having to stop and remove sandburs from our bags, socks and shoes. By the second half of our game, it felt like we were spending just as much time standing around removing sandburs as we were actually playing disc golf.
Orchard Park is a fun disc golf course, but apparently, late summer is not the time to go there.
Hutch’s sandbur problem isn’t limited to Orchard Park. Like a toxic disease, they’ve spread throughout the city.
On an evening walk through my neighborhood, I felt a prick in my foot. A nasty thorn had penetrated all the way through my sandal, and it wasn’t alone. I had to remove at least a dozen sandburs lodged in the plastic sole.
One evening last week, I was down at Carey Park, and this time I tried finding sandburs with my eyes rather than my feet. I didn’t have to search hard to find a small clump of sandburs growing near the edge of a sidewalk. They were right on the edge of the path, perfectly poised to inflict pain on an unsuspecting victim.
As I kept walking further through the park, I found the motherload: an entire section of grass where hundreds upon hundreds of sandburs were absolutely thriving. Imagine rolling around in a patch of grass like that. It would be absolute torture.
To the city’s credit, I returned to Carey Park a few days later, and this deadly sticker patch had been mowed over.
So what can we do to survive the sandbur situation? Keep your eyes peeled if you’re walking through an area with tall grass—or better yet, just avoid the grass and stay on pavement.
I’ve also come to learn that it’s best for me to check the bottoms of my shoes every time I come home to make sure I’m not transferring sandburs to my rug. There have been several occasions when I’ve discovered thorns in my carpet with my unsuspecting bare feet. In fact, it was a particularly well-placed stab wound to my big toe that inspired this column.
If you want to know more about how to prevent sandburs in your yard, check out the story I wrote elsewhere in this week’s Tribune. I had a nice chat with Pam Paulsen at the Reno County Extension Office, and by the sound of it, I am far from being the first person to call her for advice on this thorny menace.
Jared Janzen is a reporter for The Hutchinson Tribune. He can be reached at jared@hutchtribune.com.