By Brendan Ulmer
Ulmer Uncensored
Columns are kind of funny. These are opinions and ideas that are going to be delivered into people’s homes, so you’d better be sure that the thoughts are REALLY good.
I remember a few years back when the New York Times let Alan Dershowitz pen a guest column for them, and he essentially just complained that people in Martha’s Vineyard don’t like him anymore. Obviously, I was devastated for him, no one wants Martha’s Vineyard to turn on them. On the other hand, I thought: This is the paper of record, why am I reading about Alan Dershowitz’s social life?
Somehow, you folks got stuck with the opinions of someone far less important: me, 22-year-old Brendan Ulmer. A man who sleeps with a Lorenzo Cain bobblehead on his bedside table and has a KU-branded stuffed monkey hanging in his closet. I had my first professional headshots taken for this job specifically.
I’m not sure anyone has ever made a habit out of asking a 22-year-old what their opinion is if they aren’t barely post-pubescent themself. Why would there be a market for what I think?
Now, that is not to say that I don’t think I’m smart, but doesn’t everyone think that about themselves?
I want you guys to know that I am aware of how odd this is. If you’re reading this, it’s fairly likely that you’re older and have had more life experience than me, yet I am who has been allowed to have my thoughts printed in this paper.
I almost feel like I owe you, the reader. If you have any thoughts you think I should be hearing, and you see me in public, pull me aside and just start ranting. That’s the only way we can make this fair, whatever’s on your mind, just let it out.
This opinion section often contains writing from some of the most important people in our community. Meanwhile, I named my column “Ulmer Uncensored” because I thought it was silly.
When I have the opportunity to write a column, I will work my very hardest to make sure that my ideas are either relevant, interesting, and fleshed out, or fun enough that they are enjoyable to read. I fully understand that your readership is a privilege, one that I do not take lightly.
I love this job; I feel like I’ve struck gold. Every day is some combination of meeting people, learning, and writing, and I’ve enjoyed virtually every second of it so far. Thank you for reading our work. My job is not possible without you.
If you have any thoughts you would like us to share with the readers, feel free to send a letter to the editor, and you might just get published as one of our opinion section’s Clarion Calls.