CAPTION: Rob Kenney, founder of the YouTube channel “Dad, How Do I?” spoke at the first Dillon Lecture Series of the season at the Hutchinson Sports Arena on February 4. Kenney has over 5 million subscribers to his YouTube channel and is affectionately known as “The Internet Dad.” CREDIT KATE IRELAN / THE HUTCHINSON TRIBUNE
By Kate Irelan
In the first lecture of the 44th Dillon Lecture Series at Hutchinson Community College, Rob Kenney, “The Internet Dad,” talked about his life, his rise to internet fame, and why he keeps things real.
“When I started the YouTube channel, “Dad, How Do I?” on April 1, 2020, I thought I would just be teaching people how to tie a necktie, but when some people started crying in response, I began to realize there is something more to it,” said Kenney. “I thought it would help 30 to 40 people, but the videos were viral by the end of May. I didn’t have time to process.”
“People started asking me a lot of questions, like, “Can you do this next?”” said Kenney. “I don’t want to pretend to know something I don’t know. Someone asked if I could show them how to rewire a house. I would say for something like that, you need to hire a professional. A lot of social media is fake. I like to keep it real.”
On his channel, he covers a variety of topics, like how to change a tire, how to cook a pumpkin pie, and how to manage your money. He said that his videos are for everyone. Teen girls need to watch how to change a tire. And boys need to watch how to cook. “What are you going to do if Mom or Dad are not around?” said Kenney. He also says that his videos are meant to walk along with someone. “You shouldn’t have to make your pumpkin pie look perfect. Don’t sweat the details. I’m just glad you made it.”
He also tells dad jokes. Kenney tells how his daughter is actually the driving force behind the channel. He asked for her advice first before he started telling the dad jokes. He was going to do a video about how to use a stud finder. He said, “There was an obvious Dad joke there, but I wasn’t sure if I should do it, so I asked my daughter for approval of the joke: “If you came here looking how to find a boyfriend, that’s a different stud finder.” His daughter said, “Yes!” And that’s how it started.
He opened his lecture with a Dad joke. He talked about how he was a Sunday school teacher early in his marriage, and he asked if kids wanted to encourage or discourage people. Since no one likes a lecture from Dad, he decided to call the Dillon Lecture Series the “Dillon Encouragement Series.”
Kenney also gives fatherly advice in his videos and most of his lecture was about how he lived his life and what he learned. As Kenny began, he talked about how life is precious. “I want you to grasp that we have a limited time on earth. Think of time as money. You spend both. You can get more money after you spend it, but you can’t get more time. I turned 60 years old last year. Keep in mind your own life and how you make choices.”
He talked about his parents, his siblings, and his cousins and the choices his father made that eventually led Kenney to decide he would be a better dad than his own. Kenney’s Mother, Barbara Horsch, was born in 1927 in Pretty Prairie, Kansas. His father was born in Wellington, Kansas. “I have a lot of cousins and relatives in Kansas, and some of my cousins are in the audience,” said Kenney as he waved at his family.
“My parents started out really well in 1951. My mom was a teacher and Dad worked at Boeing in Wichita as an engineer. By the time he was 35 years old, they had six children. He made the choice to move the family to New Orleans, Louisiana for the space program,” said Kenney. “And that’s where I was born,” Kenney said the move took a toll on all of them, and then his dad made a choice to make another move, this time to Seattle, Washington, and his mother was even further away from her family and support group.
“Over the years, we did make trips to Kansas,” said Kenney. “Mom tried to keep us connected. I wouldn’t change a thing. It made me who I am. If we’d stayed here [in Kansas], my life would be different. There is so much love here. I always say that the people in Kansas are the salt of the earth and they help each other. You are kind, for the most part. You don’t find the same in Washington.”
Kenny talked about looking back, he can see how his mother was suffering from depression and anxiety. “It was the 1970s. She went to a therapist, and the advice she was given was to buy a new hat. Thankfully, there is better therapy available now,” said Kenney.
He said that when he was 13 years old, his mother was deemed an unfit mother and his father got custody of the children. His dad met another woman and soon was leaving the kids alone at home for an entire week, buying them groceries at the beginning of the week and putting the older siblings in charge.
“It was tough,” said Kenney. “But we didn’t know any better.” At 14 years old, Kenney said his dad’s heart had grown cold and he said he was done raising the kids. His dad ordered that the older kids would take care of the younger kids or he would put them in foster homes.
“That was devastating to have that happen while also going through puberty and trying to figure out who I was,” said Kenney. He went to live with his older brother Rick, who was a newlywed at 23 years old. It was at that time Kenney decided he would be a better dad.
They lived in a trailer home with just over 200 square feet of living space. His brother built a shelf at one end of the trailer home and that was where Kenney slept. When Kenney was 17 years old, his brother and his wife decided to move to pursue a better job. Kenney made the choice to stay and finish high school. His father gave him $200 a month, and he had to work for the rest of the money he needed to live. He played football, but couldn’t afford to play basketball.
When his mother died in 1986 at 58 years old, Kenney decided to try his shot at football at Central Washington University. At the time, he didn’t know the difference between a community college and a university. He didn’t have anyone who told him the difference. But the experience he had there gave him the dad advice he has today. “I highly recommend community college, if you don’t know what you want to do and you can’t afford the expenses, community college is the way to go,” said Kenney. “Get your two years of credits so it will transfer.”
He said that being a walk-on for the football team at Central was hard. “My self-esteem was really low. I didn’t even like to say my name at the time,” said Kenney. His dad called with a job offer at Boeing, and Kenney made the choice to leave school before graduating, a choice he doesn’t recommend to others. “Get your degree.”
He met his wife, Annelli, and made the choice to leave Boeing because they paid more to employees with degrees, which he didn’t have. He worked for a few years at an audio-visual company that was not successful and he lost his job. In 1991, he married Annelli. Kenney said, “My life was in a hard place. I had lost my job, my wife was pregnant and working. I prayed to God for guidance. When things started getting better, I got even more scared. This is not a story of pulling myself up by my bootstraps.”
With his own children, he said he started learning things by trial and error. “I wasn’t the perfect dad,” said Kenney. “If I was out of line with my kids, I asked them for forgiveness.” His older children are now in their 30s.
“The years went by in a flash. I remember thinking about how I used to put Christmas lights up every year and then take them down a month later. I started out being pretty meticulous with them. I began to notice the years ticking by each time I put up the lights. And now it makes sense why my neighbor leaves them up,” said Kenney as the audience laughed.
“You hear about mid-life crisis. My mid-life crisis was that I felt like I accomplished my goal of raising kids equipped to do well in the world. I began to think of what’s next and about doing videos to help others who may not have had a father or a mother to help them learn the basics. I thought of my kids yelling from the other room, “Dad, how do I…?” I took the suction cup phone holder out of the car, placed it on the bathroom window, and recorded my first video, how to tie a tie.”
“I thought about 40 people would follow. Now over 5 million follow me on YouTube,” said Kenney. He said that the comments on his social media come from all over the world, including South Africa and Iraq, and some of them are heartbreaking. “Because of my background, I have empathy. I was ignorant at first of how it would resonate.” He told the story of a woman who commented that she had been a victim of domestic abuse and had brain damage from the abuse. She told him she listens to his videos and his calming voice as part of her therapy.
He said, “I’m a Boomer. And Millenials and Boomers make fun of each other, but we need each other. Boomers make fun of Millenials for not knowing how to do things, and Millenials make fun of Boomers for complaining but not teaching anything.”
“I’m also an introvert. I have said that if I’m ever speaking in front of a large group, you know God’s involved and has a sense of humor.” Kenney said he’s always pushing himself to say yes to things. “I could have stayed in the comfort of my recliner, but God has me on this crazy ride.”
Kenney asked about how he was doing on time, and then said, “I’ve got to hurry up because there is stuff I want to teach you.” He then gave fatherly advice about L.I.F.E., an acronym he writes about in his new book, “Dad, How Do I?” published by Harper Collins in May of 2021.
““L” is to learn as much as you possibly can, and learn from others. I read proverbs daily. Don’t limit yourself with your own thinking,” said Kenney. “Guard your mind with social media. Learn what you need to learn, then go do something. Go outside. We need to hang out with someone.”
““I” is for your individual gifts. Each of us has a unique gift. I kept putting off my idea for the YouTube channel for a long time because I didn’t think I had much to offer. You are not doing anyone favors by hiding your gifts.
““F” is for Forgive. It takes strength to forgive. You have the choice. The person might not deserve it but do it anyway. If you are living in the past, you are giving up what you have now. Don’t play the victim card either. Move on.”
““E” is for embracing the journey, the present. Live in the moment. Remember life, your wild and precious life. You want to live a life that’s full of learning.”
Kenney then talked about critics and that on social media, everyone has an opinion that may not be right or helpful. “If you are handing out $100 bills on the corner, you’ll still have critics telling you that you are not doing it right,” Kenney said. “Be your own best friend. Be kind to yourself.”
In closing, Kenney read a passage from the “Citizenship in the Republic,” a speech by Teddy Roosevelt and is popularly known as “The Man in the Arena.”
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.“
Kenney thanked the audience for having him and said, “God Bless You.”
To watch Kenney’s YouTube videos, visit https://www.youtube.com/@DadhowdoI.
For more information about the Dillon Lecture Series, visit the website, https://www.hutchcc.edu/dillon-lecture-series
